03: Douchebags
The Illustrated Guide to Douchettes
Because being a douche is not mutually exclusive to penis owners Words by TATIN YANG Illustrated by ALICE SARMIENTO Douchebaggery is the most politically correct among all of the deadly sins. It doesn’t discriminate whether you are male, female, gay, black, white or any color in between. It’s not a genetic anomaly, it can be [...]
Douche Vs. Douche: Close Encounters With the Third Kind (Of Douchebag) As Illustrated by My So-Called Life
By CARINA SANTOS Growing up in the 90s will most likely have exposed you to the life and times of Angela Chase, the fiery-haired teen protagonist of cult hit, My So-Called Life. If you are anything like me, you will have lamented the doucheface that is Jordan Catalano, leading to you dubbing your own similar, [...]
Consuming the Class Crowd
Paolo Cruz on the alleged Third World hipster elite, and the possibilities of a hypothetical TV series about the same.
The Illustrated Guide to Douchebags, pt. 2
In this three-part series, New Slang explores the various wastes of humanity that you might come across in your well-intentioned attempts to “socialize” or “get out more often”. Illustrations by CONRAD JAVIER Words by MARLA CABANBAN The Self-Righteous Slacker Appears to be an all around intellectual of some sort. His interests can span video games, [...]
So Your Friend is Dating a Douche: A Narrative Strategy Guide
By CELIE KITTY DISCUSSED: Ways to Destroy your Douchebag, Bitchery, Friendship The following scenario is all too familiar to gay men and straight women — your close friend, a faghag, gay bro or girlfriend, is dating one of the subspecies homo sapiens shithead a.k.a. the Douchebag. The origins of the Douchebag are mysterious, but his [...]
Confessions of a Douchebag Addict
By MEIYA MEI DISCUSSED: The Gentle Art of Stealth Douchebaggotry, Emotional Limbo, Chasing Skirts Hi, My name is Meiya. My last emotional encounter with a douchebag was four weeks, two days, and fourteen hours ago. The douchebag, let’s call him K, offered to go with me when I went out to get a bite to [...]
Wet Rags and Libel Suits
By MIKEY ABOLA DISCUSSED: The Great Douchebag Lurking Behind Every Great Leader, Wet Rag Operations, Napoleon Complexes, Bayani Fernando, Lee Kuan Yew, Those commuting through Metro Manila in 2005 would have spotted a slow moving truck driving close to the sidewalks of major roads. Hanging on its side was a large, pink, wet rag emblazoned [...]
The Gallery of Self-Service
Walking around the Metro, Polaroid One600 in hand, it’s easy to see how Philippine politics has turned into a joke. Too bad, no one’s laughing. xx An (P.S. Click on the Images for larger, captioned versions) __________________________ An Estrada works with the family’s real estate company six, sometimes seven days a week. During her free [...]
Speed Dating the Presidentiables
By IRENE SARMIENTO DISCUSSED: The relationship between choosing a partner and choosing a president, Momol vs Hohol vs Hohof, Good Men, Good Love, Good Government DISCLAIMER: Though the theme of this New Slang issue is “Douchebags,” the author firmly believes that no douche bags appear in her article. Any congruence between the timing of the [...]
Recent Posts
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License
Powered by WordPress. Designed by the Mighty Roar