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Apocalypse Later
By JUAN MIGUEL SEVILLA DISCUSSED: Obsessions with Dystopia, The End, The Worst is Yet to Come Our time is up. The utopian view of the future has given way to dystopia. Chaos reigns tomorrow and we have front seats to civilization’s demise. We’ve stopped dreaming of utopia. We no longer foresee the future as the [...]
The Future of Synth is in Your Hands
“It’s not what you have but how you use what you have” Pharrell Williams, all-around coolness icon, said. Any Neptunes fan can tell if it’s a Neptunes track, just by hearing the group’s signature synthesizers. The duo is just one of many popular acts rediscovering synth, a musical staple since the ‘60s. The music of [...]
2020: Yet Another Grim Dating Year
Words by DAVID LOUGHRAN Illustrations by PAULINA ORTEGA DISCUSSED: Why gays who stereotype are usually single, A discouraging decade In 2020 I will be, gasp…33 years old. At age 33 I will no longer be deemed cute (let’s be hypothetical and pretend I am now), and so I will have to triple efforts at dating. [...]
Be Nothing Short of Amazing Today: An Election Mix
Also Known as the “I Hope You Know Who to Vote for Mix,” the “No Votes are Wasted Votes Mix” the “Please Don’t Fuck This Up Mix,” the “You Will Always Be More Powerful Than a Motherfucking Survey Mix”, the “That So Many People Care Now Gives Us Hope Mix”, the “Change Has to Start [...]
A Letter to Future Spawn
By MARGUERITE ALCAZAREN DE LEON DISCUSSED: Future-Children, Maybe-Fathers, and Your Dreams April 30, 2010 Dear Future Spawn, This is your mother. I hope that you’re reading this no earlier than 2025, because I have no plans of having you in the next few years. I am not yet rich, and only rich people can have [...]
Plugged In: Detroit and the Future of Sound
By OWARD BODIE DISCUSSED: Long-held fascination with Detroit; the city’s history vis-à-vis person experience with dance music; meditations on techno “[There] is an increasing number of people in every country who form the core of the techno-rebellion. They begin not with technology but with hard questions about what kind of future society we want. They [...]
Douche Vs. Douche: Close Encounters With the Third Kind (Of Douchebag) As Illustrated by My So-Called Life
By CARINA SANTOS Growing up in the 90s will most likely have exposed you to the life and times of Angela Chase, the fiery-haired teen protagonist of cult hit, My So-Called Life. If you are anything like me, you will have lamented the doucheface that is Jordan Catalano, leading to you dubbing your own similar, [...]
So Your Friend is Dating a Douche: A Narrative Strategy Guide
By CELIE KITTY DISCUSSED: Ways to Destroy your Douchebag, Bitchery, Friendship The following scenario is all too familiar to gay men and straight women — your close friend, a faghag, gay bro or girlfriend, is dating one of the subspecies homo sapiens shithead a.k.a. the Douchebag. The origins of the Douchebag are mysterious, but his [...]
Confessions of a Douchebag Addict
By MEIYA MEI DISCUSSED: The Gentle Art of Stealth Douchebaggotry, Emotional Limbo, Chasing Skirts Hi, My name is Meiya. My last emotional encounter with a douchebag was four weeks, two days, and fourteen hours ago. The douchebag, let’s call him K, offered to go with me when I went out to get a bite to [...]
The Illustrated Guide to Douchebags, pt. 1
In this three-part series, New Slang explores the various wastes of humanity that you might come across in your well-intentioned attempts to “socialize” or “get out more often”. Illustrations by PETER MUTUC Words by ALICE SARMIENTO THE PINOY GUIDO A Guido version of Jon Gosselin, only this look is usually unironically sported by people who’ve [...]
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