Finding Meaning in the Pursuit of Happiness

By MIKA SANTOS

DISCUSSED: Athletes Trading Stocks, Athletes Quitting

“You know why I like hiring athletes? Because THEY DON’T QUIT.” These were the words my first boss would repeatedly tell me when he first hired me. And there I was, at my first week of work, flashing a semi-genuine smile, all the while thinking, “OH CRAP.”

Now, if you were some billionaire corporate tycoon, would you hire someone like me and teach me the ropes of making it big in your business just as you did?  Apparently, because I was such a hardworking achiever of an athlete, that’s all I needed.  The CEO of one of the country’s leading commodity trading firms chose me. Of the 2,000-something able Ateneo graduates, he had to choose me. Out of the entire market of unemployed graduates beginning their crawl up the proverbial ladder, I was chosen because of my capacity to work hard and sprint up that ladder. Like an athlete.

And of course all I could do was say yes.

Blame it on parental pressure, restlessness after 2 months of bumming, my try-everything-once attitude, and my obsession with not wasting opportunities.  And so I entered the world of commodities trading… Sugar trading to be exact.  Just like stocks, it was all about making the right buying and selling decisions amidst the ever-fluctuating market prices.  It was about business relationships… with men who all knew my late grandfather (not just because he was a big name in the sugar industry, but because most of them were that old.) You could make two million pesos or way more in a single deal if you could play your cards right… And I was being paid rather well just to learn all of this.

Blame it on life, which was never fair to begin with.

I gave it my best and lasted for 6 months—coming to work in clothes that were too tight, looking and feeling like a complete idiot during lunch meetings, trying to understand an industry I had no interest in prior to the job, and being just another face in the raging sea of the mechanical workforce that walks Ayala’s elevated walkways every rush hour.

I was doing fine, really.  I had free coffee, the office was nice, and the bathrooms were very suitable for ANY call of nature.  I had Multiply.com to reach the outside world, my blog to express myself, and when internet was down, there was always my all-time-favourite Windows game, Minesweeper (5 second record on beginner mode baby!).  Everything was going great, until I found out about an opening in one of the “coolest” companies I could dream of working for.  It was the equivalent of an athlete being asked to work for Nike or Adidas.  This cool company needed a brand manager, which to me meant discounts, events, surf trips, and the best part of all, I could wear slippers to work!  I gave my resume, attended the interview, and thankfully got the offer.  The pay was way less than my current job, but I didn’t care.  It was a “cool” job.  My only problem then was how to tell my boss… and this is the reason I wanted to tell this story in the first place.

There I was about to give up a job that was sure to make me rich and “successful” if I really stuck to it.  I knew it was a wasted opportunity, money-wise, and that there are thousands out there who would do anything to take my spot.  But I felt had to do it.  In our relentless pursuit for happiness, I was just thrilled at the idea that the cool job allowed me to wear friggin’ slippers to work.

And so, I broke the news during a meeting with the entire trading team.  However, just when I thought I slipped out of my job safely, my big boss called me into his office.  Pacing back and forth across his room like an impatient cop trying to put 2 and 2 together, he poured out his real sentiments.  A few highlights:

“ I just can’t begin to reconcile.. selling shirts vs Trading?”

“With trading you can make 20 million pesos in a week by a mere market fluctuation.. How long or how many shirts will you have to sell to be able to send your kids to school?”

“ I’d understand if you’d want your kids to wait 2 hours to ride the MRT…Perhaps it will build their character…But if you don’t have to, then why?!”

“ I feel I failed to show you how trading can open so many doors to you.. it can earn you money, which will buy you the freedom to do whatever you want.”

“ Of course I’ve already accepted your resignation. I’m just sad and disappointed. Well at least my sons who are now in the states are already beginning to appreciate how exciting trading can get.”

And finally,

“But in the end, whatever makes you happy makes ME happy. If you decide to come back, you are still welcome.”

And what went on in my head, as I silently sat on my chair?

Dear Mr. CEO,

Thank you for graciously accepting my resignation, and I really am sorry to disappoint you.  I was actually anticipating everything you just said. I know you feel I am making a mistake, and you’re probably right.  But I feel it is a mistake I have to make.

Done.

That was 3 years ago. And I’ve already left the cool job to move on to another.  Why?  Another long story, but to cut it short, just as predicted, I was underpaid and underworked.  And no, I didn’t go back to the sugar company, although I knew they’d welcome me with open arms (I still don’t know why.)  From other people’s POVs, I really did throw away an opportunity.  Sure, now that it’s been 3 years into the independent life, I do wish I made more money now.  I don’t regret joining the sugar company, nor do I regret leaving it for the cool job that probably left me even less qualified than the first one.

If propriety and tact don’t exist, I would’ve added that I was only 22. At the time money was not my first priority.  I was fresh out of college with the high-minded ideal of helping the poor rather than making myself richer! I did not want to be rich and powerful and riding in my boss’s Lexus did not make me want one of my own. While I did enjoy the back massager, it was a luxury I could do very well without.

It was not about selling shirts.  It was a lifestyle choice that my boss would never understand.

All I know today is, I still just want to live comfortably, do something I love, and develop myself into someone who will help make the world a better place somehow.  And as I continue to naively dream of my ideal world where love and nature thrive, I’m glad to have the opportunity to be slapped in the face by reality, one decision after another, one day at a time.

Done.