by NICE BUENAVENTURA

Things that could go wrong if a pregnant woman ingests alcohol

I am not having a ball, clearly. But if you insist, I’m the early cinder girl who forgot to wear her slippers. Sure, punctual, but barefoot. This is unfortunate, because in the world of childcare every little thing has potential utility. Yes, even a slipper. An unsteady cot? Maybe one of the legs is shorter than the rest? Here, let me shove a slipper under it.

Because writing this takes from my precious bath time, I will make my point quick. And what quicker way to make a point but by bullet points, lazy LiveJournal entry style.

Changes Since Day 0

music: The Dirge – Japanther
mood: sarcastic, but sappy on the edges
location:

1. I gave up alcohol and nicotine. Slow clap ensue. I realize I might eat these words in the future and I don’t want that. So, I am taking a very long break from said substances.

2. At two months after my operation, it’s too early to be doing something about my horrible. postpartum. body.

What did I tell you? Note: not a self portrait.

3. Sleep? What’s that?

4. Silence? What silence?

5. Art projects (and work in general) are piled high on a table, reminding me of the time I don’t have.

Instead of a photo, I present to you a link: http://nicebuenaventura.com/index.php?page=projects

6. Grooming has been demoted from president to clerk. (Note: grooming /= hygiene.) When I look in the mirror now, it’s only to check if my baby’s nose is not squished on my shoulder.

Curiously, an online article on Maalala Mo Kaya's Mother Day Special shows screencaps of mothers who can't be bothered. Photo courtesy of PEP.ph, courtesy of ABS-CBN.

7. My heart breaks every day. It could be as big as a cold or as small as mosquito bites.

An it-looks-like-the-thing-you-cover-leftover-food-with mosquito net for babies. Keeps mosquitos and maternal tears at bay.

I am not complaining. I know my list says otherwise, and quite convincingly, but really, I am not complaining. All I’m saying is, parenthood is hard (and I’m only at the beginning!). It used to depress the hell out of me until I read about how it’s normal to want to toss your colicky baby out the window – a thought never put into action, okay.

Literature is everywhere! It’s a case of finding an abundance when you know what you’re looking for. What does this prove? I am not alone with my stresses. And I’m sure all parents, newbie or otherwise, will nod at my necessarily cheesy, abrupt closing statement (quickly now, baby is awake!): life isn’t so bad – not bad at all, in fact – for when my baby smiles, it’s always like the first time.

He just kills me.

*Best Thing Ever isn’t always the easiest.

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Nice is a contributor to New Slang. When she’s not taking care of her Grac, she makes art and writes for various magazines. Her work can be found at http://nicebuenaventura.com/.